Brides-to-be, what will you do with your name when you get married?
We have a few choices. We could be Ms. Maiden Name. We could be Mrs. Husband’s Name. Or we could be Mrs. Maiden Name-Husband’s Name.
I think I knew a long time ago that I would be keeping my own name. My mother never changed her name. She still goes by Ms. Kwan. When she receives phone calls and people call her “Mrs. Yuen”, she politely corrects them. I grew up knowing that it’s totally normal to have parents with different last names.
A long time ago, I told my fiancé that I would be keeping my name. He wasn’t against it, but he wasn’t super enthusiastic about it.
“Well would you change your last name?” I asked.
He thought about it for a minute and concluded that he liked his name.
“Me too,” I said.
Then, it became totally obvious to us that we would both keep our own names.
After browsing the internet about other women’s choices, I was shocked to read that some men would reconsider their choice to marry their girlfriends if they didn’t take their name. It was almost a deal-breaker for this guy. This guy would be offended.
I read forums where some guys said it meant that the woman didn’t want to commit. Some said that if the woman didn’t love him enough to change her name, she wasn’t worth the time. But how come nobody ever questioned the love or commitment of a man who keeps his own last name? Just because it’s tradition?
To be honest, I never wanted to be a Mrs. I never dreamed about being Mrs. Anyone. That’s why when my friend pinned this photo on our shared Pinterest wedding planning board, I told her that unfortunately, it wouldn’t apply:
Image via Etsy.
I think every bride should get to choose what last name she wants, without having to feel guilty or judged.
Are you changing your last name? Or are you keeping your maiden name? How big of an issue is this really? I’d love to know!