What is the rudest comment you’ve gotten so far about your engagement ring? Here are some of the ones I’ve heard:

“Oh good, it’s not that big!”

Um, what?

“Your sister’s is bigger, right?”

Double-what?!

These comments are from two different people. Why do women focus so much on the size, shape, and style of other people’s engagement rings?

Here’s some background on my ring. Stephen and I had talked about marriage for about a year before he proposed. We always knew that’s where we were heading.

Before we were engaged, we looked at rings for fun and he knows what style I liked. The winning moment was when we saw a Tiffany’s ad on a bus shelter. “Let me guess which one you like best!” he said. And he guessed right. Right then and there, I knew I could trust him to pick a ring that’s right for me.

We also talked about how much he should spend on the ring. I know the two-months-salary rule and I think it’s pretty ridiculous. I’d much rather we spend that kind of money on furniture, a vacation, or even just put it away for a rainy day. I knew that anything over $2,500 was not something I could accept without guilt.

To wear a big engagement ring would go against everything I believed in. I don’t wear brand names or buy designer hand bags. I dislike wearing anything that is supposed to show prestige or wealth. To be fair, I’m not very wealthy. But I’d like to think that even if I had the money, I wouldn’t spend thousands of dollars on something “showy” just to make a point.

I would’ve been perfectly happy wearing an inexpensive ring, as long as the style matched what I liked. In fact, I did see one that cost $800 that I said to Stephen I wouldn’t mind wearing. He dismissed it, saying that $800 was way too little to spend on my engagement ring. “I can’t spend less than what I spend on Whitecaps seasons tickets!” he said.

My ring is perfect for me. Not only because it is the exact style I wanted, but because Stephen selected it for me, with the intention of asking me to be his partner for life.

Size was never an issue. It was always about what the ring meant. I just wish other people would get that.

What about you? What is the rudest comment you have ever heard about your engagement ring, or somebody else’s engagement ring?

 

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Categories: Decorations37 Comments

Comments

My Grandpa (who was hilarious), “Where? I don’t see it… It’s just too small!”

It may be a small diamond, but I love what it represents :)

Teri on August 06, 2012

I have a pretty sizeable engagement ring and both of the rudest comments I’ve heard actually came from my fiances family;
1) “Oh, so what’s the centre stone?”
2) “And how many years is it going to take to pay that off?”

Lucy on August 06, 2012

The rudest comment I’ve heard about someone else’s engagement ring came from the soon to be BRIDE. “Why is it so small?” (!!!!!!!!!!). She’s a small girl with a ring size of 3.75 and she’s complaining that her 0.5ct solitare ring is too small. She didn’t care that the cut, quality and color were almost perfect… all she cared about was the size. (in case you’re wondering… they still got married).

The rudest thing that happened with my ring was when another (money hungry) girl asked to see my ring… and she took it between her fingers and covered her eye to see if she could see any “flaws”. Now I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a built in magnifying glass in her eye but rude much? (She also got married and managed to get TWO engagement rings from her then Fiancee).

MEl on August 06, 2012

I can’t believe people say these things!

1) How much was it?
2) I prefer the round cut
3) Is it platinum? No? Oh…

Melissa on August 06, 2012

My ring is quite low profile, doesn’t sit high off my finger, and has 3 diamonds inset in a bezel setting. It’s exactly what I wanted.
The first thing my future mother-in-law said is, “It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t look like an engagement ring, it looks more like costume jewelry”
I’m pretty sure she got a talking to from my future father-in-law as soon as we left the restaurant.

Dawn on August 06, 2012

I always knew I wanted something less traditional, so my fiancé and I chose an infinity band with 5 rows I diamonds around it. The rudest comments I heard were “that’s your engagement ring?!” and overheard a loud family friend respond to the question “isn’t it beautiful on her finger?” “um I guess it’s pretty nice.”

Lisa on August 06, 2012

Oh that’s small isn’t it?

Krysta on August 06, 2012

Ha, some people are so silly! I got “It must be cubic zirconia, your fiance couldn’t afford a diamond that size.” It was a 0.5, so not even big (but plenty big enough for me)!

Jess on August 06, 2012

The rudest comment came from my cousin who likes to flaunt his “wealth”. He said “aren’t you supposed to spend 2 months salary on a ring?”. I was so offended because it was a ring I picked and designed, down to the specs of the diamonds.

Kaye on August 06, 2012

The rudest comments I feel are when people ask the cost of the ring! Especially people I not close with! It’s no ones business- being that the reason it is in my finger is not for how much my fiancé dished out, but because he asked me to be his partner for life. My ring is fairly big so I do know it attracts certain attention but I wish people would be in awe of the actual meaning or the beauty of the ring, rather than the cost. ;(

Brittany on August 06, 2012

“it’s a perfect size for you, you have small hands…”

AK on August 06, 2012

People are way too focused on size and price. I’ve had seven friends get engaged this summer and one of my girlfriends actually asked her fiance to take the ring back so she could select something larger. I also had the experience of shopping with a guy friend for a ring and he was sooo fixated on the price. It had to be over a certain amount of money to be ‘good enough’ for his girl. I am the opposite, as long as the style is something I like, I’ll be happy!

Kaitlyn on August 07, 2012

I just got engaged a week ago and so far I have gotten “So are you going to get a bigger diamond when you can afford it?” Uh, nope. I’m in love with my super simple ring with its adorable 0.07 carat diamond.

Abby on August 07, 2012

I had been engaged for about 4 months and we were at at birthday party for another friend, who announced her engagement there as well. Her stone was smaller than mine, maybe half the size, but it was such a beautiful ring, and it looked great on her.

However, a friend of ours (that had gotten mad at me over something stupid and petty a few months prior and stopped speaking to me) asked in front of everyone at our table to see my ring because she hadn’t seen it yet (because she wasn’t speaking to me), and she said to me very sarcastically in front of everyone “Wow, are you going to go ice skating on that?”.

I was SO beyond mad. I don’t know if her goal was to try and embarrass me, make me feel ashamed or guilty, or what, but it just made it easy to not talk to her either after that.

Erin on August 08, 2012

Great post Vinnie :) I know when i get married, i will go pretty budget on my ring. i hate carrying expensive things on me and i’m scared of losing things so i wouldn’t feel good about wearing a really expensive ring. boy…just reading the comments…people are so damn materialistic!!!!!!!

Shannon on August 08, 2012

Your blog is truly remarkable. I bought gold ring for her during the engagement day, it was beautiful for her.

Wedding Lehenga Choli on August 10, 2012

I had a girl at work say ” don’t worry yellow gold will come back in style”

Meliissa on August 16, 2012

The girlfriend of my husband’s friend said to me: ‘It’s not flashy enough!’
Why does she even care, she doesn’t have one of her own yet.
I’m a simple girl, so I wanted a simple ring, I personally think my ring is awesome because it’s from my husband and that’s why I love it.

Camelia on August 21, 2012

I can’t believe people say these things!

InvitesWeddings on August 24, 2012

I don’t have any stories yet (thankfully) but I can’t believe people say these things!

Babybubblz on August 30, 2012

I am not traditional and my fiance picked the perfect eternity band for my engagement ring. I love it.
However, a coworked asked to see my ring and when she saw it is boldly stated ” that is not an engagement ring. An engagement ring is a solitaire diamond ring” I was shocked.

Jess on September 06, 2012

Your ring is stunning! My fiance and I picked my ring out together and I tried to find the least expensive one that I loved. We got it at an antique store for $270 and I think it is the most beautiful ring ever :) Some girls are so crazy these days! I’m just so happy the love of my life wants to spend his life with me!

Hayley on September 28, 2012

I had recently changed my facebook status to “ëngaged” and the next day at work, my co worker asked to see my ring…”oh that’s a nice starter ring…you can always upgrade later” I was speechless, WTF!

perdeep on September 28, 2012

I legitimately had someone ask what the middle diamond in my ring was sized. Mine is gorgeous and suits me well, and to be fair I got amazing compliments from two people “It’s so you, it’s almost like you made it for yourself!” and the other was “that is the most gorgeous ring I have seen!” It’s not big, or flashy. It’s a mix of contemporary and vintage with a small middle diamond and three diamonds on either side. It came as a set and to be honest, the reason he got my ring for me was when we went looking at rings, I bawled my eyes out when I put this one on. It was already mine, and didn’t even need sent out for sizing it was the perfect fit 6.25.

Jess on October 17, 2012

My fiance knows me and my style very well. We had chatted about what kind of ring I wanted for months before he finally popped the question. One thing I had made certain to tell him was I wanted and intricate band – not stone. I had always loved my great grandmothers band which was a wide gold band engraved with knotted vines. — This past August my fiance presented me with the most gorgeous ring I have ever seen. I have a size four ring finger and am extremely tiny. The ring is dainty and subtle. It has a custom, hand engraved design that was originally sketched out by my love.

It does NOT have a stone, however the platinum band sparkles and catches the light with every curve of the vines or petal on the flowers. Honestly, it couldn’t be any more perfect for me and my lifestyle if I had made it myself.

While out on a lunch date with an old long time friend, the girl told me, “It’s cute and all, but it is kind of pathetic that he can’t afford a rock for you… Are you sure he’s the one?” !!!!!!!!!! Needless to say I left that lunch early.

Haylee on October 19, 2012

BesT post!!!

From one particular person i know.. Not that good of a friend i got “ooh its really small and simple, which is good since your hands are small” its a .8 high quality round cut diamond.

It really bugs me when people dont understand about color and quality of a diamond and are fixated on the size!!

I was not insulted.. Because i think its beautiful and something i would have picked out for my self.

WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK?!

L on November 04, 2012

I have never witnessed anyone say anything rude about mine or anyone else’s ring. How petty. Mine is a 1.3 carat with antique look and I’m in love with it. Even if someone said something rude about it, I’d laugh at them. It’s what the ring symbolizes. Not what it costs. Look
At how many unhappy women there are walking around with giant rocks. Doesn’t mean a thing.

Lee-Ann on January 07, 2013

My boyfriend had given my a CZ engagement ring and while visiting his 90 year old mother in a hospital, she said to me “OMG, you are going to get my 5 bedroom brick home.” I was so mad at her comment and shocked that someone could be so rude!

About a month later, his mother asked me “does it bother you that the diamond isn’t real?” Quite frankly it did bother me! And so did her comment! Anyway, I dumped that man after finding out he cheated on me. The CZ was as fake as his love!

lisa brown on January 07, 2013

I did not get any rude comments except for one from my BEST FRIEND! She looked at my ring and asked “Oh, so do you REALLY like ut?”, and I felt like she thought I don’t like my ring and whatever. Then during the conversation she casually mentioned that she is currently dating someone who can buy her the gazillion dollar ring she found on Tiffany website. Basically, with these two comments she insinuated that my fiancee bought me a cheap ugly ring(( The ring was 6K by the way!! I love and but every time I remember her comment I feel upset. What a B8tch!

Olga on March 28, 2013

I wanted my engagement ring to be different so we picked out a emerald cut tanzanite with two baguette diamonds either side with a platinum band. The comments I get are awful! “Oh…it’s not a big diamond” “I thought you were wearing it for fun” “is that blue bit fancy glass?” And the worst from my mother: “he obviously got you a cheap knockoff because who would want to marry you?” (We are NOT on speaking terms). Everyone has the right to their own preference and choice with out others harsh comments, and at the end of the day it’s going to be on my finger for the rest of my life, not theirs!

Mia on April 12, 2013

My brother said to me “wow it’s so shiny. It looks fake.” My mom pretty much said the same thing and that it would be good because I travel and people wouldn’t steal it. I…I don’t even. I hate bling, but it’s a ring I pretty much picked myself (looks a bit like a flower).

d on April 16, 2013

I was getting my nails done, and the woman giving me a manicure said “Oh look, your ring is so cute,” and then she follow with, “You can get a bigger one some day when you save up more money.”

Sarah on October 09, 2013

    @sarah – OMG how rude!

    Melissa on October 13, 2013

Background story on my ring:
It was originally my sister’s. She got engaged when she was 19 years old and, sadly
had to end that relationship after just a few months of engagement.
About a year after she broke her engagement off, my (then) boyfriend startes saving
up for my ring. When my sister found out, she called him and offeres her ring.
She said she hadn’t wanted to sell it because it meant so much, but she would be
honored if the ring served its purpose with me. He accepted it.
I love tge ring. In fact, i helped her ex fiance pick it out because our taste in jewelry
is the same.
Story told, now on to the comments: None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
Especially from my mom. It’s like the ring doesn’t even exist!
I mean, i understand there must be a certain awkwardness for her, but jeez!
My dad keeps saying it looks like one of those toy rings that you get from
those 25 cents machines. Other people who’ve seen it say it’s beautiful and
suits me perfectly, but my family is so weird about it -.-

Rose on November 22, 2013

The rudest comment I got was from my only sister. She was still in college and it was over her spring break. All of her plans fell through so I thought it would be nice to take her on a road trip to a nice shopping area three hours away. On the way there she tells me that she “has seen a lot of engagement rings since she is in a sorority and a lot of girls have gotten engaged” and she thought that my ring was “the ugliest and most gawdy” ring she has ever seen…I was so pissed. Then to make matters even more aggravating, she asks how big the diamond is (at a later time) and then says that when she gets engaged she wants something 1 carat bigger than my ring! It has been a couple years now. I have tried to forgive and forget but whenever I think of this it still pisses me off. Especially when she tells me that her best friend is getting engaged and the ring is “GORGEOUS”. I don’t know why I let it bother me so much…still!!

Elisa on November 27, 2013

My best friend said “oh look at your cute little diamond.” Such a back-handed compliment!

Effie on February 04, 2014

Diamonds are beautiful, but they don’t suit my personality. I wanted something that felt more personal and nontraditional. My center stone is my birthstone with my husband’s birthstone on either side of it. We had it made to represent us. I also bought an engagement ring for my husband. We decided we should both wear rings. In the beginning and up until my wedding day I rarely heard anything nice about my ring.
“You can upgrade later”
“Why didn’t he love you enough to give you a diamond?”
“You didn’t want anything bigger?”
“Oh… It’s okay. You know it’s not a diamond, right?” (That was at my grandmother’s FUNERAL)

My husband was even verbally attacked once about it, by a former coworker of mine. She yelled at him that no matter what, every girl wants a diamond and if he was going to be cheap enough to by gemstones than he should have at least bought bigger ones. Needless to say, I didn’t miss her when she quit her job.

We made our engagement and out wedding about us. If someone doesn’t like my engagement ring, they don’t have to look at it. I can’t be bothered with people who don’t have enough decency to keep their negative opinions to themselves when my engagement ring has nothing tondo with them. I can’t respect someone who doesn’t respect the love I share with my husband and the deeper meaning of what engagement rings represent: love and commitment that is meant to last a lifetime between two people.

Kris on September 18, 2014

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